How should I make sure that nobody and nothing ever influence me? It is been a rough ride. I get carried away. Intelligent and so-called mature that I am ! I should have been immune to outside influences.

The verdict now matters so much that the actual self is lost. Do I want this to be my life? Am I going to count the number of ticks that I get from others? I probably won't care about it in end.

It's tough to find the factor that make you realize what is going to give inner peace. It's tough for me to break out of mold and stop looking at my poll result. It's not a competition. It is never supposed to be. My life is not a measure of how competitively well I am from others on the points that are created by those who are nothing to me.

I am unique in every possible sense. I have to get over it and soon. Thoughts are abandoning me now. Next time something else....